The Law Years

The Law Revue

2007-03-28T23:59:00.000-07:00

Since I don't feel like writing anything about the Law Revue - I figured I'd just steal Nancy's write for the Legal Eye. So here it is, Nancy, I hope you don't mind:

The 2007 UBC Law Revue, entitled “Derivative Works for Make Benefit Glorious Faculty of Legal Educations” was held on Monday, March 12 and Tuesday, March 13, 2007. Under the direction of Nick Tsoi and Matt Harding and the stage management of Jennifer Lau, the law school was treated to two hilarious evenings, amply demonstrating just how talented law students really are. And since the Law Revue was a dry event this year, it also showed how fast law students can chug a pitcher of beer within the 15 minute intermission, guaranteeing a no-longer sober audience during the second half of the show.

The show opened with Crystal Maltesen doing her best at stand-up with a voice-over continually prompting her to “move to the right” until she was off stage. The second scene was a gut-splitting musical number by Matt Brandon, singing the virtues of being a “Discretionary Student” – “maybe I’m disabled or was a pregnant teen…or perhaps a dyslexic transsexual.” Scenes were broken up by the musical stylings of the Screeching Beavers, comprised of five members of the men’s Rugby Team displaying their musical talents, while also displaying a ton of chest hair (or lack of). One of my favourite lines of the evening came from the “99 B-Line Love Story,” “ah, the B-Line, nothing like the stench of poverty in the morning.” Indeed.

Each scene was introduced by the obscene and shameless Borat, played flawlessly by Mike Berger. I especially loved Borat’s introduction of the “international singing prostitutes – the Spice Girls,” where Ashley Syer, Crystal Maltesen, Jenna Poirier and Law Revue veteran, Liz Donkervoort crooned “if you wanna be a lawyer, you gotta get with my firm” in ultra-skimpy outfits. Liz re-appeared in her 2005 Halloween costume as Scary Spice, prompting the scary question “will Liz’s tiny tube top stay on through the entire number?” Fortunately, it did.

The audience was again treated to lots of skin, although in a terrifying, gag-inducing way with the bevy of drag queens appearing in “Deal or No Deal,” a criminal law version of the popular Howie Mandel game-show. “Howie’s Ladies” turned out to be the male members of the cast clad in tiny, skin-tight dresses, which were hopefully burned after the last night of the show. If anything, this scene made me want to sear my own corneas out (yes, Mitch Dermer, I’m talking to you!)

An audience favourite was “Charlie v. The Chocolate Factory,” a delicious courtroom battle between Willy Wonka (played to effeminate, slightly drunken perfection by Dan Barber) and the kids who visited the Chocolate Factory. Getting the most laughs was Adam Gotfried as the fat, chocolate-filled Augustus Gloop, whose Nutella-smeared face delivered hysterical lines such as, “I looked for a sign, caution, achtung! But zere was nozzing!” and “thanks, Herr Lawyer.” Especially titillating were the obvious sexual innuendos littered throughout the skit – Liz Donkervoort as Violet Beauregarde testifying “he sticks this hard wad into my mouth – how could I not swallow?” And who can forget Dan Barber’s Willy Wonka cooing to his “sweet very very supple co-counsel,” the Oompa-Loompas, dressed in neon green wigs and mooting robes.

The second act opened with the always hilarious Katie Seymour. However, there were a few changes this year – instead of the Weekend Update skit we’ve grown to love, it was “The Presidential Report,” and instead of Katie’s usual sidekick Ryan Austin, we had the pleasure of watching Katie square off against the comedic stylings of Matt Brandon. The bantering between the two LSS presidents (one on the way out, the other on the way in) was delightful, with Katie throwing in several barbs regarding Matt’s advanced age. A scene sure to be an audience favourite was the presentation of the Nosebeard Award. The nominees were Professor Wexler, LSLAP supervisor Brian Higgins and the winner, Professor Elliot. Professor Elliot couldn’t be there to accept the award, so he sent his mustache instead. That writhing, wriggling “mustache” drew some of the biggest laughs of the night.

Also providing non-stop laughter was this year’s edition of “Get the Fung out of my Face” with Jeremy Fung. Beloved moments include what seemed to be a 40 foot cable connecting one’s laptop to a lone plug somewhere in the law building, cost effective measures making Criminal Law with Professor Candida a viable resort, Jeremy interviewing fellow students who all tell him “I have an articling job” even when the question had nothing to do with work, and Jeremy attempting to mack on some girls in the IA and then appearing to read “Sexual Assault” by Christine Boyle in the library. That’s pure gold, people. Props to Ryan Austin and Thomas Wong, who created this vignette with Jeremy.

“Frustrating Interruptions” played off on the law school’s beloved Professor Wexler (a regular character in each Law Revue) and on the most annoying student stereotypes, such as the sniffler, cell phone guy, the keener, the student who’s always late for class, and the endless sound of construction that perforates the law school. “El Slappo” provided a Latin legal superhero who “will fight for the poor and the guilty – er, I mean the innocent until proven guilty,” but who is helpless in trying to get you an appointment with Brian. “Wine and Cheese: 2015” gave us a terrifying glimpse into the future where firms such as Dwinnel, Sharma and Lam will inspire blood-bath and combat as future law students battle it out for that lone articling position (hmmm, that doesn’t sound that different from today’s Wine and Cheese atmosphere).

The evening ended off with the wildly entertaining “Pimp My SCC,” with Nic Tsoi playing Bev McLachlin, or, as “she” liked to be called, CJB Money. Jenna Poirier played Ian “Bins” Binnie, who helped CJB Money pimp the latest SCC justice, “Young Marshall” Rothstein. The plan backfired when Young Marshall enacted a coup and overthrew Bev, whose protest “I’m CJB Money, I’m bigger than peace, order, AND good government” fell upon deaf and newly blinged-out ears.

All in all, it was a fantastic two evenings of hilarity, filled with legal jokes only law students could laugh that hard at. Thanks to an amazing cast and crew for making the Law Revue another huge success.

2007-03-28T23:58:00.000-07:00

2007-03-28T23:57:00.000-07:00

2007-03-28T23:55:00.000-07:00

2007-03-28T23:54:00.000-07:00

2007-03-28T23:53:00.000-07:00

2007-03-28T23:51:00.000-07:00

2007-03-28T23:50:00.000-07:00

2007-03-28T23:49:00.000-07:00

2007-03-28T23:48:00.000-07:00

2007-03-28T23:47:00.000-07:00

2007-03-28T23:44:00.000-07:00

2007-03-28T23:42:00.000-07:00

2007-03-28T23:41:00.000-07:00

2007-03-28T23:39:00.000-07:00

2007-03-28T23:31:00.000-07:00

2007-03-28T23:30:00.000-07:00

2007-03-28T23:28:00.000-07:00

2007-03-28T23:27:00.000-07:00

Grad 2007

2007-03-17T00:02:00.000-07:00

Grad Dinner and Dance took place at the Four Seasons Hotel. We had worked hard to put this evening together and were pleased that it turned out to be a fantastic night. Food was delicious, service was impecable, and well... with the exception of a slightly "awkward" Valedictorian speech everything went smoothly.

Kim Brooks was awarded the Teaching Excellence Award
Jeff Robinson was honored with the Ray Herbert Award
Hari Balaraman was our valedictorian.

And well... you can't forget the Pretencious and Prestigious Awards. Rebecca Levi, Thomas Wong, Fred Wan, Geoffrey Trotter, Ada Lam, Matt Dwinnell, Daniel Lerner and Phil Dougan were all the lucky recipiants.

Enjoy the pics. Some of them are my, some of them are Nancys. Didn't feel like running around with a camera the whole night through - so we've got to share. There are many, many more posted on Facebook for those of you who might be interested and still unaware of this new phenomenon.

2007-03-16T02:25:00.000-07:00

2007-03-16T02:24:00.000-07:00

2007-03-16T02:22:00.000-07:00

2007-03-16T02:21:00.000-07:00

2007-03-16T02:19:00.000-07:00

2007-03-16T02:17:00.000-07:00

The Alexander Graham Bell Award Winner - most phone calls during class.

The Alex Trebek Winner - most questions asked in class

The David Bekham Winner - best metrosexual dressed/best fooseball player

2007-03-16T02:15:00.000-07:00

2007-03-16T02:13:00.000-07:00

2007-03-16T02:10:00.000-07:00

2007-03-16T02:09:00.000-07:00

2007-03-16T02:07:00.000-07:00

2007-03-16T02:05:00.000-07:00

2007-03-16T02:04:00.000-07:00

2007-03-16T02:02:00.000-07:00

2007-03-16T02:01:00.000-07:00

2007-03-16T01:59:00.000-07:00

2007-03-16T01:58:00.000-07:00

2007-03-16T01:56:00.000-07:00

2007-03-16T01:54:00.000-07:00

2007-03-16T01:52:00.000-07:00

2007-03-16T01:49:00.000-07:00

2007-03-16T01:47:00.000-07:00

2007-03-16T01:45:00.000-07:00

2007-03-16T01:41:00.000-07:00

2007-03-02T00:07:00.000-08:00

A few candids from the Beverley McLachlin Speech

2007-03-02T00:05:00.000-08:00

A few candids from the Beverley McLachlin Speech

2007-03-02T00:03:00.000-08:00

A few candids from the Beverley McLachlin Speech

2007-03-02T00:01:00.000-08:00

Some more of McLachlin, C.J.

2007-03-01T23:58:00.000-08:00

2007-03-01T23:57:00.000-08:00

Fred Wan curageously asking a question!

Geoffrey Trotter - with wither question for McLachlin, C.J.

2007-03-01T23:52:00.000-08:00

McLachlin, C.J. - enjoying herself!

McLachlin, C.J. - still smiling!

McLachlin, C.J. - time to get serious!

Adam Gotfried - asking yet another question

2007-03-01T23:49:00.000-08:00

Dean Bobinski and Chief Justice McLachlin

2007-03-01T23:47:00.000-08:00

Matt Brandon and Beverley McLachlin, C.J.

Couple Tax Class Cadids

Couple Tax Class Cadids

Grad Committee/APLC Beer Up

2007-03-01T23:41:00.000-08:00

And yet another couple of shots from another beer garden!

Enjoy!

2007-03-01T23:38:00.000-08:00

2007-03-01T23:36:00.000-08:00

2007-03-01T23:34:00.000-08:00

Latest Beer Up

2007-02-12T23:28:00.000-08:00

With Beer-Ups now taking place on a bi-weekly basis, they truly are at a premium, especially if they are sponsored by a law firm - as was the case on February 9th.

Not a lot of pics - but enough for a teaser.

2007-02-12T23:23:00.000-08:00

Some privacy maby?

2007-02-12T23:19:00.000-08:00

2007-02-12T23:18:00.000-08:00

2007-02-12T23:15:00.000-08:00

The Guile Debate!

2007-02-12T23:08:00.000-08:00

First and foremost, this has got to be one of the highlights of the year - regardless of whether we're allowed to have a beer-up or not. Ryan, Thomas, Matt and Mitch did a fantastic job entertaing us for over an hour. Unfortunately, this time round I don't have transcripts of the text so just believe me when I say that there was no shortage of laughs. Some more details can be found in the February Legal Eye so if you do want to know the gist of some of the jokes, just check out the papers website and read the article... pointless to repeat it here.

My focus is the pictures - and as far as it goes, the ones of people with tears in their eyes and buckling over from laughter speak for themsleves.

2007-02-12T23:07:00.000-08:00

2007-02-12T23:05:00.000-08:00

2007-02-12T21:02:00.000-08:00

2007-02-12T20:00:00.000-08:00

2007-02-12T19:59:00.000-08:00

2007-02-12T19:58:00.000-08:00

2007-02-12T19:54:00.000-08:00

2007-02-12T19:53:00.000-08:00

2007-02-12T19:52:00.000-08:00

Winners!!! Mitch Dermer & Matt Brandon!!! CONGRATS!

2007-02-12T19:44:00.000-08:00

Some post-Guile debauchery.

Some more post-Guile debauchery.

The Law Games

2007-02-12T19:38:00.000-08:00

First and foremost - disclaimer on all the photos since none of them are my. They are all courtesy of Mike Ruhl. Simply thought I'd include them on this website so that the chornology of law school events can be as complete as possible.

Our esteemed peers competed to death in London, Ontario making it into the semi-finals of the Water Polo Competition and bringing home the coveted Academic Championship Trophy (thanks to Jeff MacKenzie and Daniel Reid!)

2007-02-12T19:32:00.000-08:00

Part of your Law Games Team

2007-02-12T19:31:00.000-08:00

2007-02-12T19:23:00.000-08:00

2007-02-12T19:19:00.000-08:00

2007-02-12T19:17:00.000-08:00

Santa Clause comes late to UBC Law

2007-01-31T11:53:00.000-08:00

The $6,000,000 contribution by the Law Foundation should be a great step forward for our new building. Too bad that we won't see any benefits of it during our time here. Let's just hope that when they actually start building, they'll make sure to do a good job and not try cutting costs in every possible way, a strategy that would probably just result in an outdated building by the time construction is finished.

Pretentious Night Out

2007-01-31T11:49:00.000-08:00

Continuing in the holiday spirit, we decided to party it up at the beginning of the new school year by going out for a pretentious dinner, dressed in finery and acting as if we truly could afford it whilst making sure to order the cheapest bottle of wine on the menu.

2007-01-31T11:48:00.000-08:00

2007-01-31T11:46:00.001-08:00

2007-01-31T11:46:00.000-08:00

2007-01-31T11:42:00.000-08:00

Celebrating End of Exams with some Melodious Singing

2007-01-31T11:36:00.000-08:00

With the stress of December exams over and done with, there's nothing better than a nice dinner out and some fabulous singing at a local Kareokee Bar. Unfortunately the pictures don't record the amazing sounds we heard that night.

2007-01-31T11:27:00.000-08:00

2007-01-31T11:21:00.000-08:00

2006-11-27T04:16:00.000-08:00